#000000;">this is day 3 after the burning of my lil angel’s hand….they have one of those glass top stove things… the kind that when it’s turned on, the burners glow so you can see them. when the stove is turned off, it looks normal… and there’s no way of knowing that it’s still hot…. somehow i think there needs to be some sort of safety something built in… a light that stays on til it cools off or something…. something… i think that almost all kids, at some point in their young lives, touch the hot stove… i did… and many of my friends did… and it has nothing to do with what the parents’ ability at parenting is… it has nothing to do with being supervised or not… it’s the curious nature of all human beings… we all, at some point, do something that seriously hurts us simply out of curiosity….
#000000;">those are 2nd and 3rd degree burns on her little hand…. bless her heart… my kiddo said she’s feeling better, not in as much pain and such… can you imagine the itch when it gets to healing? holy crap!
#000000;">my guest speaker days were fun… mostly. i mean, i spent 2 full days telling my MS story. i thought i had come to terms with it… i thought the emotion was over with. but i guess not. i stood up there and told my story… and i cried. in front of those dang kids. the good thing about it all is that i think i reached them. i think i made an impact. i was honest. i didn’t try to glaze over it.
#000000;">and they saw the changes in me, the longer i talked and stood up…
#000000;">(the students later in the day got even more of a visual idea)
#000000;">my speech comes and goes, slurs… my brain forgets what it is thinking/saying… my body gets worn down… i am actually almost glad for those things… it’s one thing for me to stand/sit on the stool up there and talk about all the invisible things i am feeling… it’s an entirely different thing for them to see or experience it.
#000000;">part of the story i told them was how mean people are…. how i have been treated by others because i’m slow, or i walk funny, or i talk funny… how people have flipped me off, bumped me with their car as i cross a parking lot, attempts (more than 1) to trip me down stadium stairs, bullies keeping me from getting to a bathroom…. and how there were so many people around when these things happened and NO ONE… not one person… not a single one… intervened to help me. my closing statement to all the students in every class period was this.
#000000;"> “remember me… the next time you see someone being mean to another, harassing, bullying… think of me. and stop it. help the person. and if you can’t do that, then find someone who can.”
#000000;">oh, and i ruined coach’s reputation… so he says ha! i told them what a wonderful man he is and how he takes care of me and loves me. i told them he does all the cooking, and most of the laundry, and most of the cleaning… and how we cried for weeks after we found out i was sick… and how he doesn’t leave my side unless he has to. i told them about his compassion, and his kindness, and his support… i told them how he defends me at all costs…. and i told all those boy crazy high school girls that there are good men out there who will do the same for them. i told those kids that this is how things are supposed to be.
#000000;">and after those 2 days of standing and talking, added to the already present stress of the big move, no work for me, and the summer heat… shit my body hurts… bad… i couldn’t get shoes on my feet today… it feels like some big mean ogre has clamped a couple of nasty ass vice grips on my feet and is squishing them all together… man o man…
#000000;">5 more working days for me! (scary)
#000000;">and i’m finding out that i’m going to be missed. or should i say, they are finding out that they will miss me. there are some at work that haven’t been the nicest to me… as in any job, there are personality conflicts and judgements… that’s okay… but it’s funny how those are some of the very people who now are telling me what i great job i do and how i’m going to be missed and that they fear they won’t be able to replace me 🙂
#000000;">warms my heart…. and i’ll stop tooting my own horn now… maybe ha!