Sep 282013

I just looked at the date of my last post and gasped. It’s been a long week since I have written here.

I’m tired. Just plain ol’ tired. Months of work and life and all the rest… it’s caught up to me and I’m just tired. My legs fail me more quickly than they did. My arms fail me now too. I do well through the first part of the day but as time moves on and evening is facing me, my arms & legs begin the rapid decline to failure. I hate this.


A bit of bad news…. my camera disintegrated. In my hands. I picked it up off the table and it simply crumbled… the lens… I cried.

67027_581725255208460_432440551_n 1379652_581725258541793_1607321754_n It’s going to be a while before I can replace her. And she can’t be repaired as far as I can tell. I’ve been pouting for a few days over this.

I’ve been trying to figure out why this happened and there’s no explanation other than wear & tear. Never been dropped or banged around. She lived in a well padded bag and was lovingly cared for. I guess all things die at some point.






I have some idea of what I want to buy but it will be a bit. Maybe tax time.


Although I haven’t been writing here, there has been lots of writing going on at work. I have 2 webpages at the job… one internal and one external. I don’t manage them at all but I provide the content. The big push lately has been for personal planning. I know I’ve written about it quite a bit here.

What I’ve been learning at work is people don’t want to hear the mumbo jumbo. They tune out when it starts. Almost instantly. But when I talk in my own voice, using my own words and just being me, I get a much better reception. So I thought I would try to be a bit more creative in webpage content department as well. Here’s what I wrote yesterday and will hopefully be posted in the next few days:

Make a Plan. Plan to Respond

My office is peace. It is calm in the face of disaster. Not that we’ve had a disaster recently, except in my mind.

A movie is continuously playing in the theater of my mind. The scenes are fluid and ever evolving… scenes of destruction, mayhem, danger. It’s the nature of my job…second nature after years of training, planning, and working.

I would like to follow those scenes with images of recovery and life. I reach for that every day as I ask people around me to create personal preparedness plans or attend evacuation training. Much of the time my requests fall on deaf ears… but I keep asking. I keep explaining. I keep on keeping on.

I am making a dent in the facade. I see enlightenment dawn on a face here & there as someone listens to what I’m saying. There are times I can even see excitement in someone’s face as they learn about how to help move 500 +/- sick people out of the building to a place of safety.

This is how I know its all worth it. That one person I was able to reach.

The job of an Emergency Management Coordinator is one of research, analysis, projection, and finally planning. Doom and gloom is my game. My time is spent living on the dark side of things and what could happen to the community… the hospital… my family.

 Funny though, I don’t consider what could happen to me. I am removed from the equation. When the big nasty comes (not if… always when), I predict I will be sitting in my office of peace and calm, gently wiping the small beads of nervous sweat from my face and praying that all the planning, training, preparation… will it be enough? Is there any way to know if what I’m doing now will be enough then?

Simply put, the answer is no.

It is impossible to be prepared for every situation. Impossible. But it is possible to be as ready as we can… to know what we need to do in most situations. And knowing these things, practicing the actions, gives us all a foundation to work from in the face of the unknown. You see, there are only 4 basic responses to any situation. Let me say that again… there are only FOUR basic responses to ANY situation.



Reverse Evacuation.


Everything else in a plan tells us how to achieve the goal. It’s really quite simple.

My wish for today is buy-in… from staff, from the public, from everyone. Make a plan and plan to respond.


 I’m going to nap again. Third one of the day.

Oh, the team won this week. They are now 3-2 overall. Not too shabby for a second year program – #0000ff;">GO SABERCATS!


Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  4 Responses to “Tired”

  1. Oh, no! I know you love your camera. Damn it, anyway.

  2. Damn! So sorry about the camera. 🙁
    And geez, woman, no wonder you’re tired!

    I recharge my batteries over the weekend by taking a nap once or twice. Depends on how late I stay up. But it makes me feel so much better to sleep when I feel sleepy.

    I hope your replacement camera isn’t too far into the future.

  3. I am so sorry about the camera. And the fatigue. And there needs to be a better word to cover that soul-sapping, bone breaking exhaustion. Tired doesn’t cut it. Fatigue doesn’t cut it.
    And loved your writing.

  4. No, not the cam! I know when I shot a lot I had an emotional connection to my camera. I still think about that Pentax K1000. LOL

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