Anyway, she answered. On the other end was a nice person asking for assistance. Resources, knowledge, insight. The woman happens to be sort of an expert in the area they were asking about and she let them know she has a wealth of information on the topic at hand. And since the woman is kind and likes to help, she shared her resources. Most of us would think this to be a positive encounter, yes?
As it turns out, it has not been a positive encounter. Since offering resources and talking with the involved parties, the woman has been sucked in and up and pushed out and in. People with authority over the woman tell her she cannot participate. People who want the woman’s help are not letting go. Yes~No~Yes~No and round n round we go. For a little over a month back n forth, forth n back.
And now the woman seeks peace and release from this dreaded conflict. But it’s not coming fast enough.
How are you with controlling yourself? Sounds rather forward of me to ask that. What I’m getting at – hmmm… okay for instance, you are served your favorite food and it tastes better than usual. It is so good that it’s bordering on a religious experience. Are you able to stop eating when you are no longer hungry? Not full, not stuffed, but sated? Do you eat it slowly and savor every moment of the experience? Do you take little small bites and roll it around in your mouth, or do you eat heaping forkfuls shoveling the goodness down your gullet?
And whatever your answers, do they apply to other things in life too? Can you get enough, fast enough, of a really truly good thing?
I have no control. None. Nada. I’m a glutton in many areas of my life. And I don’t know why.
My childhood was good. We didn’t go without food or anything else. There was always plenty of everything.
So why then can I not find the middle ground. That part of the experience that is just right… not too much but not too little of a good thing?
This is something I need to work on it a big way. It’s got to be one of my greatest weaknesses.
No self control.
The middle is the best place to be. Always. It’s not either extreme but instead, it’s just the right amount of both ends. The following is a brief but good summary the middle way/path:
The term Middle Way was used in the Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta, the first teaching that the Buddha delivered after his awakening.[c] In this sutta the Buddha describes the middle way as a path of moderation, between the extremes of sensual indulgence and self-mortification. This, according to him, was the path of wisdom.
Monks, these two extremes ought not to be practiced by one who has gone forth from the household life. (What are the two?) There is addiction to indulgence of sense-pleasures, which is low, coarse, the way of ordinary people, unworthy, and unprofitable; and there is addiction to self-mortification, which is painful, unworthy, and unprofitable.
Avoiding both these extremes, the Tathagata (the Perfect One) has realized the Middle Path; it gives vision, gives knowledge, and leads to calm, to insight, to enlightenment and to Nibbana. And what is that Middle Path realized by the Tathagata…? It is the Noble Eightfold path, and nothing else, namely: right understanding, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness and right concentration.
I was there once upon a time. I want to go back…… Back to the middle.