Aug 012010

This won’t be such an exciting post but it’s information I have to give you so that the rest will make sense…bear with me. I won’t detail the times because there are people who would get hurt and I won’t do that at any cost….so just trudge through this with me and the next post will be truly entertaining…I promise!
So I have gotten you up to 1985…. I was 21 years old now…new baby, husband, country living….
We lived in a single-wide mobile home…yee haw! And the land we lived on was family land. You see, his parents owned something like 20 acres that was about 9 or 10 miles out of town just off the highway. They had told all their chick-a-dees that they could have an acre if they lived on it. So Husband said that’s what we were going to do….and we did.
Husband was a truck driver….. and a drinker. The first year or so I did my best to go along with things…I tried to ignore the drinking. In this small town, it was the thing to do – get off work and head to the nearest Mom & Pop grocery store/beer joint. He would drink there for several hours then come home and sit in the recliner and drink some more. It was a way of life there.
I won’t get into any nitty gritty details. They aren’t pretty and there’s no way I can make them funny so I’m not even going to try.
When A was a little over a year old, I had made up my mind that I needed to get us out of there. But I had no way to support us. At the time, I was working at the local clinic…it was a big clinic – 17 doctors including GP’s,  OB/GYNs, surgeons, and internists. I was the PBX operator. A was in daycare….and she was thriving there. She was such a smart kid….
Anyhow, I found a way to go to nursing school…. it was a 1 year program at the local junior college. My mom helped me out…she helped to manage the bills so that I could go to school. I did very well! This is the time in my life that I discovered that I’m smart…I was going to nursing school, taking care of a toddler, and in a bad marriage. I didn’t have much study time because I had certain things to do at home that were expected of me and if they didn’t get done…well it wasn’t pretty.
As soon as nursing school was done, A and I moved out. We went to stay with my father until I could find a place for us to rent. We were there for about 6 months and I found the cutest little rent house. $275 a  month! Can you believe it? Of course that was in 1988…and I was now a nurse working in the emergency room. We were going to make it….. This was a major accomplishment! I was going to be able to survive as a single mom and we would be okay….
(you have to understand that I have left out the bulk of this story because it’s not necessary to spread the ugliness…. )
The separation was very difficult. He was not a happy camper to say the least. Most of my possessions were burned in a bonfire – his way of purging me from his world I suppose. I have no pictures left from our wedding, A’s baby pictures and baby book were destroyed…many material items gone forever. But it was okay.  All said and done, it took 2 years for the divorce to be finalized. He fought me for custody of A….it was awful and scary and I hope no one ever has to go through this sort of thing….
And once again, I was so relieved when it was final and A & I were okay. By this time we were living in an apartment…I was acting as part-time manager so I could get discounted rent. I had to collect everyone’s rent, make sure the laundry room was clean…and that’s about it. Piece of cake!
A was 3 now…and she was doing pretty well. She saw her daddy every other weekend for the most part. Actually, she got to spend a great deal of time with his family. They helped him care for her when it was his time to keep her.
I had become involved in a relationship that I shouldn’t have. It was very intense…very passionate and very powerful. It was out of control. A couple of years into it, I knew I had to end it. …. and I did. I wish that I could relay to you the craziness that ensued in a way that you could really grasp it…but there is just no way. I will tell you that he ended up in a psychiatric facility for a few months. He wrote me these REALLY long letters…things about how we were destined to be together because he was there at the time of my conception…in spirit… and he made me gifts and sent them to me. These letters filled an entire legal pad…front and back of each and every page. I wish that I would have kept them. I don’t know why I threw them out…but they truly scared me.
When he went to the psyche hospital, I lost my job. We worked together.,.. and the hospital thought I should not be able to keep my job. .. (to this day, he still works there)… So now things were not okay…I was a single mother with no job…and in this small town, everyone knew what had happened….so I couldn’t get a job. I struggled.
Enter my friend Mary….my soul mate and the best friend a girl could ever want…..

  •  August 1, 2010
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  •   Just LIfe
Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

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