…We need to have a conversation. No, that’s not correct. I need to talk to you.
I don’t understand why it is that the best people end up in the worst of circumstances. This crap about life’s lessons, or what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, or You won’t give us anything we can’t handle… well, that stuff isn’t cutting it for me right now.
I know You have a plan. I know You are calling the shots here. But I have a complaint to file with You. It seems to me that in the past several years, my family has had so many burdens… so many hurdles and hardships. I don’t understand that. I realize that we are not Your only children, nor are we any more special than the others. But my word. How much can one family take and continue to live with joy & peace in our hearts?
Please don’t get me wrong… I’m not mad at You. Yes, I am mad. I am so angry that I can’t think straight. I am so mad that I want to vomit. I am so mad that my eyes and heart are burning. You know the cause. I want to move past my anger. I want to forgive and I want to understand. Anger is petty. Especially now. You must help me move past it. Please take this burning from me. Please.
My tears are of anger mixed with sadness and fear. But mostly they are borne of anger.
I feel weak in my soul.
I feel weak in my heart.
Please help me God.