Feb 022012
It is important to sit with the clear intention to be present. At the same time, we need to let go of expectations. In a very real sense, what happens when we sit is none of our business. The practice is to accept whatever arises instead of trying to control our experience. What we can control is our wise effort to be present with what is.

– Narayan Liebenson Grady, “The Refuge of Sitting”

i love that up there… clear intention to be present…. hard to do much of the time. living in the present.

and that line “the practie practice is to accpet accept whatever arises instead of trying to control our experience.” followed up with what we can control….

would you just look at that.. my fingers are just not cooperating so much today… i pride myself on my typing skills… i’m quite fast and very accurate… and since the beast settled in i find that it’s much easier for me to type than to take up pen and hand write… but i do notice my speed is not what it once was and the suttering, stuttering, dyslexic fingers are becoming more and more evident… bleh

i’ve been working on a stepping stone… no, not metaphorically in the psychological bending my mind sort of stepping stones… but an actual heavy ass stepping stone… i’m painting it… up to this point i’ve covered it in gesso, let that dry… then covered in green paint with soem some white splatter paint…. once that all dried (…and that took forever and 1 1/2 days because of the rain and humidity) i penciled in a flower design i had been working on… nothin too fancy- just your average flowers that every teenage girl draws all over her book covers, hands, sneakers, jeans… you know the kind….  so anyway, today the base paint was dry so i was able to paint a few petals… orange 🙂 i likes orange….

when it’s looking acceptable i may post some pics

well, i’m all official and legal… got my new DL and SS cards now… so i’m offically officially legally an abendroth… it’s about damn time… 15 years or so?

i asked coach the other day what he was going to be buying me for valentine’s day… he just scoffed… i think he said something like “you have me now what more can i give you” … whatever… i told him that now he has to buy me real shit for these holidays… that’s what husbands do for their wives to keep us from bitching and moaning about all the other junk….

so coach, if you don’t want me to be a nag hag… um, well, start shopping baby!


Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  10 Responses to “stepping stones”

  1. Lessee, you have to be one step ahead of hubby and tease him about the great gift you got him for Valentines. You have to then think of something to get him then lol. It’s hard to stay in the present. My mind wonders so I need a leash for it.

  2. I love the intense shots of your glasses and a smidge of your face which appear on your header from time to time. Congratulations on getting the formalities complete for your new identity.

    My fingers are more than dyslexic these days, and my handwriting (which I sort of prided myself on) is vile.

  3. Here’s to you, Mrs. Abendroth. Your typing is as good as mind, er mine ever was. Much bettter, er better, even. If we tried to type unlike the way we speak, that is, multisyllabically, it (the typing) would be much easier.

    Sitting and just being with our thoughts, not judging, not guiding, but just being with them, can be quite weird sometimes. And I really like that passage you put up.

    Yes, you must drop hints to the coach re: gifts. After all, he is a married man. This is one of his husbandly duties. You are only required to get him edible underwear.

    • man, i love that word! multisyllabically… took me a minute to type it though lol

      i read your comment to coach and he just shook his head… edible underwear – greatness!!

  4. are your header pictures changing like a slide show?

  5. In a very real sense, what happens when we sit is none of our busines.
    The top of my head blew off when I read this line. Brilliant. Wow – what thought??? Like listening to a radio playing in the apartment next door. Sound just floats by and you don’t even notice it anymore. So wonderful – talk about fuckin’ non-attachment to yourself. Do you think we can get to a point in meditation when thought just becomes a slight swoosh ~ no sound, no words, just a shwoosh.

    An Ms. official Mrs. Abendroth what would you love Coach to buy you for Valentine’s Day?

    • every now and then, not often, but sometimes, i reach that point in sitting that everything is … simply is… a fleeting glimpse of enlightenment… a satori… i have no clue how to get those satori’s to last longer than that fleeting moment… i think my problem has been that when it happens i immediately think “hey! there it is!” thereby ruining the satori lol

      i can remember when i first started sitting, my monk teacher was describing thoughts as clouds drifting by and that i should acknowledge that it’s there and then let it go… wow, that was so hard to grasp… but eventually i got it

    • p.s. honestly i don’t want coach to buy me anything for Valentine’s day… i just like to give him shit lol (shhhhh don’t tell him)

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