Aug 042010
 

…ok not the movie! my friend mary is what i am finally going to write about…
i know it’s been several days since i said i would tell you all about her…sorry for the delays… i have been knee deep in writing papers about social movements, activism, racism, and constitutionally limited government… woo hoo!!


okay…mary


i have known mary for many, many years. she is my soul mate. she is my best bud…she is my parallel in life. have you ever known someone whose life is absolutely parallel to yours? their life experiences occur within a few months of your own … and they are the same experiences? well that is how it is with mary and me.


i met mary when i was married to Husband. mary’s husband and my Husband were good friends. i had been married to Husband for about 1 1/2 years at the time…we went to a dance and mary was there. we struck a very minimal conversation…i wasn’t too into it…i was pissed off at Husband for acting like a drunken idiot (naturally).


soon after that dance, i left husband. i hadn’t thought much more about mary until one day at work…must’ve been in september of oh, about 1988 or 9, the new group of nursing students came through for the clinical orientations…and there was mary! she was in nursing school…in the class that started right after mine ended. and she was going to be doing her clinical rotation in the hospital where i was working.


we hit it off immediately. she had told me that she had wondered what happened to me. a few weeks after that dance, she and her husband showed up at our house looking to visit and hang out. except that i was nowhere around and Husband was apparently passed smooth out laying on the living room floor. she wanted to ask him what had happened to me but he wouldn’t wake up enough to tell her…


so anyhow…


the shenanigans in the hospital were pretty mild. we tried our best to remain professional while having a good time too. and we did pretty good. but home was different. mary left her husband and moved into the apartment complex that i was managing part-time… she had two kids, a boy & a girl who were about the same age as my kid A. Two single moms on the loose!!


we always managed to have a good time. We both had affairs and got messed up mentally. we both hated our jobs and just simply walked away from them one day. we both struggled with money and we share everything with each other. if she got some money, she shared her food and smokes…and vice versa. we shared rides so we could save gas. we were happy as long as we had a pack of cigarettes, some coke, and some music…neil young and tom petty were the favorites.
this went on for a few years until i moved to austin.


A had wanted to move in with her father and i got tired of fighting her. i couldn’t tell her what kind of man he was…and truthfully, he had never hurt her. A was being destructive and dangerous in her anger…so i gave in and she went to live with him. i spun into the dark and dismal abyss of depression. i wanted to die. really. i stopped eating. i had no possessions (we’ll get to that story) except for a twin mattress and a very small black & white TV. i wasn’t working. i really thought if i died life would be easier for everyone concerned.


well mary found me. and that was a miracle. she is horrible finding things….she couldn’t really read a map and she got easily confused about directions…but she found me. she packed me up and moved me to my friend’s place in los angeles. i didn’t tell anyone i was going. i was mentally broken. i needed help but i didn’t know what to do (another story here too). but the main point right now is that mary saved me. literally.


over the years we have been in and out of relationships and marriages. usually at the same time. we go months without speaking but we sort of know when we need to call each other. i just get this feeling that i need to call mary and check on her…and usually it’s when she needs me. and she gets the same feelings about me. she calls just when i need my friend.


and when we talk or see each other, it’s like no time has passed at all….
we are both happy now….she is divorced, owns her home, and is working in a good job. i am living with Coach, happy and doing quite well. our kids are all grown and doing much better than mary & i ever expected … i mean they were raised by two slightly crazy single moms who looked for adventure….  periodically i will throw in a story about an adventure…there’s just too much to put here in this post…


so there you have it…mary. now when i mention her in future posts, maybe this will help you to understand what we did and why – but probably not!

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

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