…… is how i choose to think of myself right now…
i am definitely rubenesque… and i’m looking forward to metamorphosing into a beautiful butterfly in the next few months… preferably one that is not quite so rotund…(i know… that’s some pretty sappy imagery… failed attempt at flowery creative writing)
that will be about 50 pounds from now… keeping my fingers crossed…(imagine 50 cans of crisco stacked up in the room… that’s how much fat i have lathered on to this body)
i have NO will-power left. that’s not to say that i don’t have will-power, because i do. it’s just that it gets all used up getting out of bed most mornings. you see, the beast that lives within my head is hungry ….and that big ugly thing simply requires more will-power than my brain can produce in a day…
all my life i have sought comfort in food… one can only imagine how much comforting i have indulged in since i was diagnosed 17 months ago… eek
prior to the day life ended as i knew it, i was struggling with weight… but i was doing so good! i was eating healthy, i was working out in the weight room (training for power lifting meets with coach)…. then, well, that all went away. the morning my feet wouldn’t move forever changed everything about my existence.
now 17 months later i am ready to find something new and quite possibly give up comfort food… maybe… well mostly. i’m tired of feeling and looking like an over-indulged tick… you know the ones… they look as if they are going to simply explode at any moment, sending 1/2 digested animal blood all over everything within at least a 2 foot radius
so i signed up with weight watchers… a week ago… so far i haven’t been able to keep under my daily points – BUT i also haven’t gone over on my weekly extra points… so i guess it balances out? maybe? at any rate, i managed to slough off 3 pounds… not sure where it’s missing from but i would venture to guess it’s from some irrelevant place like my third toe on the right foot… of course it wouldn’t be from a crucial area such as tummy 1 or tummy 2…. sheesh*the really cool thing about WW? no food is off limits… truly… i can continue eating the things i enjoy and that in and of itself is wonderously fantabulous!