Nov 282012
 

#000000;">-I was very happy this morning when I stepped on my scale…. 12 pounds gone… TWELVE! In 3 weeks. Now if I can just keep going… It’s been hard but not so hard that I’ve slipped off the wagon too many times. I’ve splurged a few times but nothing major. My blood sugar has been holding steady in the 120-160 range. It could be better but it’s already better than it was. I’ve been eating mostly protein with a dab of salad or green beans or something on the side. Hamburger meat, John Soules fajita meat, chicken, tuna fish….

#000000;">**EDIT: I just checked my BS after dinner tonight… 112.. the lowest it’s been in several weeks!

#000000;">-Now if I could just kick this stupid cold. My head is a bit less congested today… but that only means one thing. It’s moved to the chest. I’ve been coughing like a maniac all day long. Everything hurts from coughing. My abs are getting one hell of a work out… that six pack is going to be very well defined by the time I’m over this shit. Needless to say, my bladder remains empty… or in a state of emptying… TMI I know.

#000000;">-We have a new channel on our TV lineup… ID… I like it. It’s mostly detective, investigative, homicide, 48 hours type shows. I enjoy those. I like the puzzles, but I don’t really like what the stories are about. It’s a shame there is so much evil in this world.

#000000;">-Some thoughts I’ve been struggling with the past few months- I stopped making art. (Although I don’t know that what I was doing would be considered art.) I was trying to create things in an effort to give myself some purpose in my day. Since becoming ill, I feel like a useless slug. No matter how often I’m told I’m not a slug, that I have purpose, that I’m important and add something to each day, I don’t feel that way. Not yet. I’ve been working on it. Positive talks to myself and all that but still…. no luck. I’m not very persuasive with myself. Sketching, writing, and taking pictures… it gives me some sort of purpose. I was clinging to it with all my might. And now I have no motivation to do it. I know it will come back again. I think much of it has to do with the failure of my hand to hold a pencil/brush/pen for more than a few minutes at a time. I’m hoping this is a symptom that will get better eventually. I miss it but don’t know how to start again. I wake up each morning and try to get motivated. I drink my coffee and look at all the sketching websites, gesture drawing stuff, the books I’ve collected…. I look at my inks, pencils, notebooks… and then I play that stupid bejeweled game. I need to make a better plan. Maybe if I set a specific time to pick up a pencil and a specific time to put the pencil down. Just 15 minutes. No pressure. Just make lines. Maybe the juices will start flowing again. That is what I’m going to do. Tomorrow morning. I will do it.

#000000;">-I hate slumps.

#000000;">-I’m a dreamer. I bought 5 quick picks for tonight’s powerball drawing. It would such an amazing thing to actually win something. I know I won’t . But this little voice somewhere deep in my addled brain tells me “someone has to win”…. so why not. Tonight at 10PM while watching television, if my numbers are chosen, I will most likely wet, then mess my pants… and then promptly keel over unconscious in disbelief. Once Coach is able to arouse me, I know that sleep will not be anywhere near me for days. I will have pen & paper out, making plans, notes, lists, bills, investments, more plans. Who will I give money to? Who will I set up trusts for? I have some pretty good ideas already. But it’s a dream that has next to no possible odds of coming true for me. Have you ever thought about what you would do if you won some big honkin’ chunk of cash?

#000000;">-It’s fun to dream.

#000000;">

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  7 Responses to “Rambling On”

  1. Would it help if I say very loudly from the sidelines ‘YOU ARE AN ARTIST’ ‘I LOVE WHAT YOU DO WITH A PEN, I LOVE WHAT YOU DO WITH A CAMERA.’

  2. Every time there is a big lottery payout I make plans. I’ve won once, almost 30 years ago, $80. Don’t wait on me. Lol!!!

  3. Congratulations on the weight loss!
    I agree with Karen’s suggestions.

  4. Have you spoken to your occupational therapist about holding a pencil for long periods of time? They are usually full of ideas or she might be able to find you a pencil holder. Your art (and it is art) is so important and you need to find ways to keep at it. xo

    Whooot on the 12 pounds!

  5. The trouble with slumps is that they can become ruts. It’s easier to straighten up from a slump than try to climb out of a rut. I have found that changing my routine helps with a slump. The best thing (for me) is to turn the computer off after an hour or two in the morning. That way I am not tempted to game, surf or waste time in a thousand other ways. My motivation is often low, so I push myself to do SOMETHING that I once enjoyed. I set up very specific mini goals in the evening to accomplish the next day. It sure is a great feeling when I have completed those goals, and it makes me feel like going further and doing more the next day. As a reward, I turn my computer back on in the evening and indulge in some gaming!

    I like to dream once in while about winning the “BIG ONE”, but I know it ain’t gonna happen.

  6. OMG Holy Poops. How are you doing this amazing weight loss for health regime? What is it? Sherry, I have a checkup coming up next week and i am going to reschedule. I know my numbers are going to be worse than they should be and i will have to go on more meds. i am disgusted with myself. Please tell me what you are doing.
    As far as your slump I completely empathize. Well you know how well my blog is going…Not. I look at my new selves in our new workroom in our new apt and gaze at all my art supplies, tangle stuff and all my EO’s and feel sick that I am a tourist in my own life. Yeah, I’ll get to everything tomorrow. I so understand you and wish we were both rich in $$$ like pigs in shit. then we could meet at spa, eat great food someone else prepares, get massaged, yoga’d, reflexologied and laugh our oily, smooth selves right out of what my mom used to call The Blues. And you do make real art – my envy 😀 of your talent proves that. Let’s make a plan… huge hugs to you, huge but gentle.

  7. Dream baby Dream!!!!!!!! Just DO IT!!!!!!

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

%d bloggers like this: