let me tell you about the time i learned to play quarters…
do you know what that game is? it’s a drinking game:
- attempt to bounce a quarter off the table and into a cup
- if you miss, you drink a shot of whatever they are pouring
- if you say the words drink, drank, or drunk – you drink a shot
and it goes on and on like this.
ok, so i have never been much of a drinker before. i didn’t drink in high school at all. after high school, well let’s just say that my hubby did the drinking for both of us. and so… a drinking game was probably not the best idea for me….
i was managing those apartments i had moved me & A in to after the frozen house episode… now this apartment complex wasn’t really that big (remember we lived in podunk texas)… it maybe had a total of about 25 or 30 apartments. most of the renters were college students from the local junior college.. and a few of us single moms. at one end of the building some of the units were actually 2 story townhomes. pretty nice for the area and the times…
because i was acting manager, i knew most everyone that was living there pretty well. and of course, i was the older divorced woman that all the college boys chased after. i was mother hen, i was nurturer, i was able to help with homework, girlfriend advice, a meal… and in return they would babysit A for me when i had to work weird hours or had the occasional date (not much of that was happening)
these guys used to invite me to their little parties. i guess they figured if they had the manager at the party they wouldn’t get in trouble…. true
anyhow… this one particular party was in a townhouse. the resident (can’t recall his name) was married (or her name either). they were pretty cool people with nice furnishings, well kept townhome. and the party… they had invited about 45 or 50 people… the fire marshal would’ve had a blast with this one!
everyone decided they wanted to play quarters… or what they had really decided is that me and the wife were going to play – we were both non-drinkers and i think they knew we would provide good entertainment… we didn’t want to be wimps so we said “sure, bring it on” LOL can you say dumb dumb dumb!!
so they teach us to play, give us the rules, and a quarter of course. all 50 people are gathered in this tiny little dining room watching us… (whose idea was this anyway?) there is a bottle of vodka, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of rum on the table. oh boy we could have the shot of our choice! so we start playing and of course we stink… and therefore we are both REALLY DRUUUNK in about 28 seconds flat …. the husband sees how bad we are getting… and he notices that all the vodka and all the whiskey are gone… part of the rum is gone too.
he tells the crowd “game over”.. oh thank you mr. man! i am really HOT so i stumble outside onto the little back porch… i see an old tire on the ground and oh… it’s full of refreshing cool rainwater! PLOP! my big ass goes right in it… i’m sitting in the water… and it feels soooooo good….
in the meantime, mr. man is trying to get his wife upstairs to bed… he thinks we both need to sleep some of the drunk off. … he manages to get her upstairs somehow and comes to get me… he pulls me from the tire and we head upstairs…stumbling, fumbling, drunk, drunk, drunk… up to the bedroom… oh my! where’s mrs at ? she has managed to escape while he was out looking for me! so down the stairs he goes again to find her and bring her back…. and do you know what i did? ESCAPE!! this circus went on for a little while and i finally decided to just go home….. it’s not like i was going to have to drive or anything. i only lived about 6 doors down… that would be 3 staircases…
so i head out the front door…the cool air hitting my face, i thought to myself oh yeah, i can do this. WRONG! i slump down to the sidewalk… and crawl.. yep that’s what i said… i crawled all the way home… all 300 yards or so… somehow i managed to make it up the staircase (of course, i lived upstairs) and into my home. i think it took me approximately 40 minutes to make this journey…
i have never drank like that again… didn’t want to! i would have a glass of wine from time to time, or some Bailey’s on ice (favorite drink)… but that was about it…
no more drinking for me at all now… my health won’t permit it… and this is probably a good thing!