May 152013

There comes a time in most every girl’s life when she realizes the first man she ever fell in love with was her father. And for the rest of her life, that girl will compare all relationships with that first, all important, one. Every man that enters a girls life will have to measure up to her father’s expectations…. even if they are bad ones (which explains some of the more insane relationships women find themselves stuck in). A girl’s father teaches her… through his actions, compassion, love, words…. how she should be treated by other men.

I am one lucky girl. My father is one of the most compassionate men I’ve ever known. He loves unconditionally. He not only speaks words of love but he also shows it with embraces, gestures, and other kind actions.

Throughout my life I was unfortunate enough (or to be more correct, just made some really dumb choices) to have been a part of some pretty bad relationships. I didn’t take the time to think through the decisions which established each of those relationships… I didn’t take the time to look for the warnings and back away. But that’s okay. My father also taught me that I’m strong enough to get out of any bad situation and survive it. He taught me that no matter what mess I manage to get myself in to, he’ll be there waiting for me to come out on the other side… he might even help me wipe the muck off and give me a spring board to start over from.

He’s pretty cool like that.

So, next in most every girl’s life comes the time when she realizes that her father won’t always be here. That’s a shitty sort of realization.

In the end, I guess what I want to say is that it would be nice if, from the moment we take our first breath, we all knew how incredibly important it is to honor our fathers (and our mothers too) in everything we do, say, and become. I think it’s a shame that some of the more profound lessons in life aren’t realized until it’s too late.

What’s that old saying? If only I knew then what I know now….

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  7 Responses to “Profound Lessons in Life”

  1. This is such a gorgeous, heart felt post. Sentimental tears here.

  2. My Dad died in 1987 just a few days past his 87th birthday; Some days I miss him terribly, but I always miss him.

    My Mom died three months past her 87th birthday; Some days I miss her terribly, but I miss my dad the most. Oddly enough it was she who saw to it that I went to Catholic schools, got piano lessons, learned to drive when in HS – all things she never did.

    They were married since 1938, had five children, four boys, then me, born in pairs separated by wars and a Navy career. Until me. I think the spark ran out of their marriage once he moved back into the house after his Navy retirement. He tried to rule the boys with an iron fist. He was used to being obeyed in the Navy. This after they had lived in a house that was run kindly by women.

    My brothers used to say I was spoiled. Maybe so. I only remember getting one spanking from him- and I deserved it for misbehaving in front of company. But as I grew up, I learned to talk back, to speak up; something my Mom never did without it turning into an argument. Alas.

    • Is it odd to miss someone before the die? I try to rationalize that it’s okay.

      There are so many things we learn from our fathers… and other things we learn from our mothers. The most interesting to me as I reflect have to do with interpersonal relationships… the dynamics. Both my parents are very different in so many ways, yet they are alike as well.

      Now is the time for me start documenting the lessons, the nuggets of wisdom, the funny little things… everything. Now is the time for the big conversations, the digging for wisdom and advice for the future.

      A journey… for sure.

  3. your daddy loves you like no other and he will always be there, because little things will remind you of him every time you turn around

    Like I told mom2, when you find yourself looking for an idea, answer or solution, go with WWJD
    1st – what would Jesus do
    2nd – what would Jim do
    hopefully the answers are akin, because they both come from love.
    Love you,

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