This morning I was rudely awakened (by the Queen) at 4:30 in the AM. Much too early! I managed a very brief nap from 9 to about 10:15 or so. During that nap I had a dream. Another dream, and it was just crazy enough that I remember it. It’s 10:23 right now and in my barely awake haze I am writing this down lest I forget it for later.
The dream starts in my grandmother’s house, except it was arranged slightly different than it was in real life. And it was in need of some repairs. There were lots of people there, mostly women & girls. And Coach was there. I don’t know why. What I do know is that there was one woman there who needed to make a road trip to her ex’s house for some reason that had to do with custody of her kids. I don’t know why it was so important but it was. She was begging me to go with her. I was nervous about the trip, it reeked of trouble. I asked Coach if he would go along with us but he said no. he needed to nap before work. So I told this woman I needed to use the restroom before we left. She gave me an hour to get myself together.
I went upstairs to pee. I had to go really, really bad. The bathroom upstairs had two doors, except the doors were missing and had blankets hanging as make-shift doors. I make it into the restroom and sit down to pee when loads of girls walk in. They proceed to form a line waiting to use the toilet. I asked if they could please wait outside but they didn’t hear me because they were all giggling and gossiping so much. Then… a contractor came in with another man & started measuring the door jambs, counters, cabinets, and etc. I’m still sitting on the toilet. I said, rather loudly, that I’m trying to pee and would everyone please step out. No one moved… the contractor looked at me and said it shouldn’t be a problem, just pee!
I get up off the toilet in complete exasperation and head back downstairs. Coach is sitting at the breakfast table with a shirt on but no pants. He stands up and begins walking to our bedroom for pants. I’m trying to walk between him and the guests to block the view of his man junk. He thought it was pretty funny and began shaking things around a bit. Slut! I get him into the bedroom and ask him again to go with us on this little road trip… Again, he tells me no.
I go back into the main room where everyone is gathered. All the girls appear to be ready to leave & are putting finishing touches on their makeup. I think this is a great time to try for the bathroom again. I bolt upstairs, go through the blanket/door and perch myself on the toilet. My daughter & her sister come in! WTF? I just want to pee! They are followed by the contractor and other man again. Shit. I have to pee really bad now. Spasms are setting in. I get up, fasten my pants and head out to the porch… what am I going to do? I sit on the porch swing for a few minutes with some boy who is swinging high. The motion doesn’t help me at all…
The woman who wants to take the road trip comes out and asks if I’m ready to leave. I tell her I still have to pee and she says let’s go and we’ll stop at the store. Okay.
We load up in 2 cars, mine & hers. Our first stop is a corner store. It is all whitewashed wood and crowded. There are lots of cars outside. I throw my car in park and head inside in search of a restroom. Behind the counter is Fonzie and Joanie and Potsie. My mind was blown right out its, shooting up through my skull leaving little bits of splatter everywhere. Not really but man. Not only were the folks from Arnold’s at this corner store, but Fonzie and Joanie were playing a game – they were pretending to be Mr & Mrs Roper high on dope… Sheesh. Where did that come from? I inquire about a restroom as I’m trying to get over the counter. For some reason I think the restroom is behind the counter… They tell me the restroom is outside while pointing at a blue outhouse.
And then I woke up. And I had to pee really bad!
Obviously, I have a new lesion in my brain. I think it’s located on the dreambellum and impacting the medulla oblongata or something. In all my life, I don’t recall having many dreams… and I almost never remember them. Now I’m having CRAZY dreams, in full color, and I remember them for the first ½ hour of being awake. Life is weird.
I think it’s obvious to everyone….
I need to call Frasier…