Oct 252011

coach and i have a great relationship…

and mostly that is because he puts up with my shit… and my “uniqueness” … he still finds me entertaining and funny… and as far as i know, he hasn’t really gotten mad at me yet… oh, he’s been annoyed i’m sure… but not mad… whew

i like to pick, tease, poke, and otherwise annoy folks… i bet you would never have thought that about me… ever, right? ha

when coach and i first got together and i started up with my shenanigans, i got no reaction! i couldn’t find THE spot that worked… it was so incredibly frustrating for me… really… truly… so i made it my mission to find that sweet spot that no matter when or where, it would raise some sort of reaction from him

i found it… and more.. many more.. he has spots… plural… that works out good for me… because you know, what fun is it to pick, tease, poke, and otherwise annoy if you get no rise outta your victim?

many times a day… many… i pick, tease, poke, and otherwise annoy coach. he’s come to expect it of me. and just about every time i get close, he goes on guard… and this warms my little heart 🙂 y’all don’t let your minds go to the gutter here… nothing i’m referring to is dirty, nasty, or otherwise related to the xxx megaplex type activity…

anyhoo…bedtime is one of the best times to get after the picking, teasing, poking, and annoying… his guard is down… he is relaxed…

he usually gets his bedtime routine done before me… and he crawls in and gets the pillows just right, the blanket pulled up to the proper height for his comfort… and he’s propped up with the TV on… about 15 minutes or so later, enter ME… in all my glory… when i get  upstair (we have one stair up) into the inner chamber that is our bedroom, my first task is to plug in my phone… which happens to be at the foot of the bed on some shelves that coach so lovingly built for me a while back… so i plug in said phone, and coach is relaxed.. watching TV, eyes half open… as i turn to start part 2 of my routine i gently, without warning or obvious movement, slip my hand up under the foot of the blanket… wiggling fingers… right onto his foot!

doh! he’s wide awake now…

part 2 involves hitting the powder room- brushing the teeth, an attempt at bladder relief, and then back to the inner chamber… i slide over to my side of the bed and get undressed, hanging my jammies on the hook by the bed… now, i do different things depending on how awake coach is at this point… if he’s in that half open eye stage, i will grab the edge of the blanket and FLING! right off the bed… he loves me 🙂

if he’s still pretty awake, i will crawl over the bed, gently, sweetly… resting myself across his chest and give him a smooch… while sliding my hand down under the blanket, gently.. and inserting my finger into his belly button… he REALLY loves it when i do that

so there is a point to me telling you all of this…

the other night, as i was crawling across the bed… i get down to smooch him and he says “you are just like a prowling leopardess”…

damn it…

ruined my moment… so i told him “um, more like a pot-bellied pig on the prowl”

ha! took the moment back

(bless her heart… her teats are dragging the ground!)

(sorta like mine do)

(k not really)

(but close)

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  4 Responses to “panthera pardus”

  1. Who says you can’t judge a leopard by her spots? lol

    When we were still ‘dating’ (e.g. living together), I did the seductive thing one night and DH laughed when I came into the room wearing a silky nightie! We usually skipped over such details – but, he Laughed Out Loud. Suffice to say the mood was crushed, and I have never bothered again to this day, 24+ years later. Some scars sting.

    And who knew you were such a seductress??? It adds to your artistic nature.

    Oh, and clearly your extra flesh doesn’t bother the Coach one bit. In case you haven’t noticed, he has a few extra pounds on him as well – and he still is attractive. Right?

    • lol but the main difference between coach’s extra and mine, well, his extra is all hard as steel muscle….mine is just squishy ha

      i have never tried the seductive moves… i’m more the goofy silly sort .. works out good for me that coach is alright with all of it

  2. oh me too! some sleek beautiful cat… but alas, i’m much more frumpy than that…

  3. Oh dear. I would really, really like to be a prowling leopard, or tiger, or panther but …..

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