The moment of realization that your ass is fixing to hit the ground is … well, I’m not sure what it is. It’s definitely a moment though. In fact, it’s a long enough moment that planning starts to happen. How to turn the body this way or that and choose the part of body that will make first impact… hopefully turning to the part with the most cushion to it.
Also in that moment, I start thinking about the pain I’m about to feel… and I hope above all else that I don’t seriously injure myself – broken bones, gushing lacerations, head knocks rendering me unconscious. All the while, I try to figure out the distance between the spot of probable impact and the location of my phone.
Murphy (that’s a fun little sight.. you wouldn’t regret clicking it) dictates that it must be at least 12 feet away in order for a fall to occur.
The humiliation almost settles in before impact. As I calculate the probability of being able to get to the phone while suffering major fall injury, I become embarrassed and hate the idea of telling someone I need assistance getting my ass up off the floor.
The falling motion itself is an odd sensation. It’s a total loss of control even though those planning thoughts are running through the mind. Because as I do my best to twist and turn, nothing is really happening. My ass is hitting the ground however gravity dictates it should. And just to be clear, it’s not always the ass that hits.
For instance, tonight it was the face/chest/hands/elbows/hips/knees/feet. Too many points of impact there. And they all hurt like hell right now.
The downside of the planning attempts is that even though the body doesn’t really move this way or that as planned, the muscles attempt to make it happen. And then they are rudely jolted upon impact causing the contracted muscles to scream in agony for about 1/2 second.
Impact is quite startling. I think I try to convince myself that even though I’m fully aware of falling because I can feel the loss of control and the motion of my body going down quickly, I try to make it stop mid-motion, or mid-air. Or something. I fully believe I’m not falling or that it’s not happening. And then impact.
I’ve been quite wonky and wobbly the past several days. I’ve had a great deal of pride in not falling, going slowly, using extra caution.
I guess pride reared up and bit me in the ass tonight. Lovely.