Jan 222013

-I watched the Carrie Diaries last week. I’ve always really enjoyed Sex & The City, both the shows and the movies. I’ll give Carrie Diaries a few watches before deciding. The pilot seemed to be keeping to the character…we’ll see.

-I hate that I haven’t sketched or drawn anything in months & months. I must find my way back. I must. I look at all the beautiful images, the tutorials, the videos, other artists’ works… I miss sketching. I am no good at it but I enjoyed doing it. In fact, I rather suck at it. Edit: I have was drawing yesterday and I’ve almost finished a page. Hopefully, it will be done this morning and I can scan it in. It feels good to be creative again.

-I wonder daily how much of what I read is truth… how much is truth but exaggerated truth… how much is completely fabricated in an effort to get readers, comments, popularity. I’m not naive but I like to think that bloggers in the health world aren’t making things worse, or better, than they actually are. It would offer so much false info to people who are in search of information or answers and make the rest of us appear as if we are wimps, or at the other end of the spectrum, seeking sympathy for something that isn’t all that bad… pft.

-I think that MS has had a larger impact on me mentally/emotionally than it has physically. Okay, let me clarify that… the physical symptoms come, get bad, then let up a bit… the mental/emotional impact never gets better.

-Have you ever noticed the people from your past don’t stay in your past? Most especially those you wish to never see or speak to again? The ones who seem to creep up from time to time are the very ones who hurt you the most, took advantage, spit you out on the curb… and then down the road, they return. I have a hard time with wanting to forget and trust that I wouldn’t be hurt again. Even though my life situation is very different now, I hesitate to trust, I hesitate to speak with or encourage in any way a person who has hurt me so deeply.

-I’ve been sitting and waiting for THE phone call. It’s the one that will let me know if I got the job or not. I’ve once again put all my eggs into the one proverbial basket, which I know is a stupid thing to do. Yet I did it anyway. The job just sounded so perfect, so right. Enough time has passed now that I’m beginning to wonder if it’s going to work out or not. I’ve sent the “touching base” email to the interviewer and received no response, except the read receipt two days ago. Because I haven’t heard anything from her I have turned to the temp agencies for work. I haven’t received any response to my resume yet but I know that eventually something will pop up. I hate doing that. I hate admitting that I may not get THE job. And times are desperate right now so I can’t really afford to wait any longer. She asked for a few weeks at the interview. It’s been a month. I guess temp work is a way to keep myself available should THE job actually pan out. I will give it a bit more time, work some temp stuff and hope for the best. If it doesn’t work out, well, at least I have some sort of pay coming in until another permanent job opportunity presents itself. Did I say I hate this? Yeah, well, I do.

-I realized this morning that I’m truly getting old. What sparked this epiphany you might ask? Sleep sounds better than sex much of the time…. that’s just plain ol’ sad.

-I’ve had a few lazy MS sort of days the past week. My brain shut down, which in turn means my body shut down. Unable to do more than stay awake for a few hours at a time. I go from insomnia to the inability to stay awake. I hate this disease. And I’m expected to get a job and work through it. What the fuck. The government boobs who make up these rules are idiots. (Well, okay, not all of them are idiots…but they sure make some poor choices on who should receive disability benefits and who shouldn’t)

-Is it possible for 2 adults to eat 3 meals a day for 4 days on only $20? I wish I knew how to do that… because we had $20 to last 4 days…. ugh. Let me tell you, it’s not really possible without the benefit of baby showers, the sharing of wild game (that I didn’t eat but Coach loves), and the kindness of family & friends.

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  4 Responses to “Notes from the past few days”

  1. Sherri, Never doubt that you have artistic talent, because you do. Period. End of story.

    $20 for four days is a stretch. Soups are your friend, as is the freezer. We eat vegetarian which saves a lot of money. (But I eat meat, just not much at home.) I do try to limit my food to one meal a day, plus a snack, because I don’t get up and move too much. Neither does DH. So one full meal seems like enough. Plus cookies. LOL

    I hope you do get THE job, but if not, temp work will help. I wish you luck.

  2. I am glad to here you are getting back to your drawing. I wish I could be as creative as you are! Even if it takes longer and gets harder I so hope you continue with it. I do know that it is possible to eat on that seriously it is. We are just coming out of months and months of doing it. Lots of soups and stews etc. as Muff mentioned and chickens when on sale . … KRP won a certificate for beef yeah beef you know! She was driving somewhere for work and heard the announcement and realized she was right there. Stopped and won YEAH. We had steaks for super a few days later. I never really thought I would be in a situation where winning a couple of steaks was akin to a miracle.

  3. Sherri, I’m glad you’re getting back to drawing. You absolutely DO have talent, and you should revel in it for as long as you can!
    Fingers crossed and prayers offered about that job — it did sound perfect. I went through that once, and I understand the anxiety. MS is a rotten thief, that steals from us all that is good. Make soups and stews — quick, easy, and cheap!

  4. Good luck with your job process. An unsolicited bit of advice though: prospective employers troll the Internet to evaluate the prospect’s Internet presence. Eliminate what you think might be questionable.

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