I find that I am beginning to resemble an Asian boy reaching puberty. Really. It’s not something that I ever gave any thought to in the past… until the past few years. I have a man beard going on. If I didn’t maintain it, I’m sure I would look something like this:
(This is not my actual chin although I fear it will be similar in appearance if this pattern continues)
And if that isn’t bad enough, I have stray hairs growing here & there on my dimpled cheeks, my waddle, out of moles, and one time I found one on the top of my nose! I pluck, shave, pluck, shave…. I have thought of just using bleach but that won’t work. I would just end up with a greyish beard that resembles 40 lb test fishing line growing from my face. The hair is not really hair… it’s more like whiskers. Sharp, rigid whiskers. When I run my hand across my chin/neck area, my hand gets pricked!
Menopause & cycles should be plenty burden for us gals without having to add freakin whiskers to the deal. I mean come on. I have spent countless hours shaving my legs… now I have to add my face to the list? What’s next? My boobs are near my knees, along with my stomach… my eyes are gradually becoming more & more slit-like as my face droops & sags… and now I have to shave my face? When will the injustice end? When?!
I have considered buying one of the various hair removal products as-seen-on-TV but have you noticed how much those bastards cost? I suppose they know that there are many women out there who will be more than happy to pay the price to be rid of fishing line on their face. I’d rather spend Coach’s hard-earned money on the tortilla bowl dealio! He would probably appreciate it more as well.
If things keep up this pace, I’ll be able to find a swell job before big brother decides to approve my disability. I will sign on to be the fat bearded lady that walks funny and can’t always understand what’s going on around her. They can collect $.25 for folks in the crowd to stump me with basic questions as I pace the stage walking like a drunk chicken on LSD. What a deal!