Sep 292010
 

Yesterday was a good day. Physically and mentally. I wasn’t quite as wobbly or tired. I was beginning to think some pretty positive thoughts. My messy mind was playing tricks on me… it kept telling me how full of shit I am…how I’m such a drama queen… how there is nothing wrong with me… that I need to just buck up and live my life. Then I would have to walk …. and ok, messy mind, you just shut it…there is something indeed wrong here. And it responds with some ideas… like maybe it’s just a virus, or something wrong with a disc in my back…or maybe a tumor…or maybe I’ve been sleeping funny and messing myself up. Shut up messy mind!

Today is not such a good day. I’m at my worst…at least the worst I’ve had so far. It’s all come rushing back to me…at about 10:30 this morning. Before that, I thought…hmmm, another good day! Maybe that ol messy mind was right after all drama queen…. Damn. I cannot hold onto anything, my arms are numb and hot…I have burning pins in my face. My legs aren’t working. Holy shit.

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Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  10 Responses to “My Wednesday.. such as it is”

  1. Dang, I didn’t know you had MS. I hope things get better soon.

    • I just found I had it… last Thursday… it’s been a whopper of a thing to try and come to terms with…. Hopefully they can start me on some treatments soon that will help me out

  2. Hang in there Sherri. Sorry to hear that your not feelin well. This if just another “challenge” for ya ! Your a very strong person, I think you can handle it. Not many people I know that I could say that about. Just think…now you can kick someone and call it a spasm ! Im praying for ya.

    • i been thinking about that kicking someone thing… the walking stick will come in handy… “oh! oops, so sorry!” ha

      Thanks for your words of encouragement. They help and mean a lot coming from you….

  3. I’m so glad you have some readers who know what you are going through. It’s lonely out there with no one to lean on that knows what’s happening. As I told you, I don’t have MS but I have several other things and I understand about thinking maybe I am being a drama queen. I’ve thought the same several times about myself. But, I finally forgave myself and said if I’m a drama queen, then movies and TV here I come.

    • it certainly helps to have those readers… and it helps to hear from you as well. it’s nice to get other perspectives and ideas….maybe put a different spin on things…. I was thinking of getting a “Drama Queen” shirt or something…

  4. Sorry today was crappy for you 🙁
    I was being whiney earlier…and then I remembered that my foot will get better (ok, so the odds are that it wiil) and this gimp will be gone one day….then I thought about the “spoons” post and felt about like crap for being sush an ungratful cur. My spoons surely would have been half gone before I even made it out of my room today!

    You need a shirt that says, “I’m workin’ on kickin’ MS’ butt!”…you could pull that off, noooo prob!

    • I know you are in pain Tina…at least I don’t have too much pain right now… a few twinges that last a minute or but that’s about it so far…. I feel for you!!

      How about an orange shirt with a big spoon on it? ha!

  5. Hey Hon! I’m sorry about today. I’m not going to tell you that it’s going to get better, because that isn’t even believable at the beginning. But you’ll see as things start to become “The New Normal.” Get through today, just get through today. Our airconditioner stayed in the window all winter, and is on remote control, and a plush snuggly is always nearby, since I can go either way. All thoughts for you to consider. When my hands, and legs didn’t do what they were supposed to, I just would push my fingers around the object and then push down a little to make a better grip. It’s not all the time, and when I have to do it, I don’t even think about it anymore. Same thing with my legs. Sometimes I have to grab the pant leg and pull my leg where it belongs. It’s not all the time, I’m used to it, and I don’t even th ink about it when I do it. Though when people who aren’t used to me, see me have to move my legs, or curl my hand around something, all while I’m talking, their eyes grow wide, and it’s all I can do not to laugh!! I know it looks a little pathetic, but it’s my New Normal, sometimes.

    Keep your chin up honey, we’re here for you. And anyway, if everything was like it was before MS, how could you belong to the New Normal Club??? 🙂

    • I’m so glad you are here. It really helps when I hear from you. And I must say, the New Normal Club is the first club I have ever belonged to! Woo Hoo!

      I am finding the hot to cold to hot thing is a real nuisance…you would think I would be used to that with the craziness of Texas weather…but nope.

      I do know that eventually I will get used to all this…at least I hope I will. I know that eventually this will all become second nature to me. I just don’t know what to do with it when each day something different happens, something new…wow, I didn’t have that yesterday….

      I do want that tshirt my kiddo found … “I used to be fun to look at. Now I’m just fun to watch.” LOL Have to find the humor in the little things these days…

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