Yesterday was a good day. Physically and mentally. I wasn’t quite as wobbly or tired. I was beginning to think some pretty positive thoughts. My messy mind was playing tricks on me… it kept telling me how full of shit I am…how I’m such a drama queen… how there is nothing wrong with me… that I need to just buck up and live my life. Then I would have to walk …. and ok, messy mind, you just shut it…there is something indeed wrong here. And it responds with some ideas… like maybe it’s just a virus, or something wrong with a disc in my back…or maybe a tumor…or maybe I’ve been sleeping funny and messing myself up. Shut up messy mind!
Today is not such a good day. I’m at my worst…at least the worst I’ve had so far. It’s all come rushing back to me…at about 10:30 this morning. Before that, I thought…hmmm, another good day! Maybe that ol messy mind was right after all drama queen…. Damn. I cannot hold onto anything, my arms are numb and hot…I have burning pins in my face. My legs aren’t working. Holy shit.