yesterday i found out that i have MS. startling. shocking. life-changing.
there have been tears, prayers, thoughtful words…. i have wonderful amazing people in my life. Don’t use up all your good will, thoughts and prayers yet guys! we’ve got a long haul ahead of us and so you might want to space those out a bit…i’m sure i’m going to need them down the road too! oh, and to those who know and love me – might want to start planning that charity event in my honor – i’m fixing to have huge bills to pay! (not really, i’m making light of me…. don’t take this seriously please)
i’m trying to get my mind wrapped around it.
- what does it mean?
- what will happen to me?
- how will i be tomorrow – in 5 years – in 10 years?
- how will Coach handle it?
- will he stay or will it end up being too much?
- when will i start pissing on myself?
- when will i have a hard time talking?
- when, what, when, what?
- where does one go to find the absolutely COOLEST cane ever?
- is there enough painted areas on a Rascal for airbrushing?
- when will i get front row parking? handicap placards?
- will i get better than i am right now or is this my new normal?
i don’t want to feel sorry for myself. and i don’t want anyone else feeling sorry for me either. it is what it is and i have to continue living my life as my daughter wrote to me this morning…. move forward one shuffle at a time ha! that girl – i love her so much.
the silver lining – i will not die from multiple sclerosis. i will not lose my marbles… my mind will still be a mess. it won’t change who i am, just how i am. i can deal with that.