Sep 242010

yesterday i found out that i have MS. startling. shocking. life-changing.

there have been tears, prayers, thoughtful words…. i have wonderful amazing people in my life. Don’t use up all your good will, thoughts and prayers yet guys! we’ve got a long haul ahead of us and so you might want to space those out a bit…i’m sure i’m going to need them down the road too! oh, and to those who know and love me – might want to start planning that charity event in my honor – i’m fixing to have huge bills to pay! (not really, i’m making light of me…. don’t take this seriously please)

i’m trying to get my mind wrapped around it.

  • what does it mean?
  • what will happen to me?
  • how will i be tomorrow – in  5 years – in 10 years?
  • how will Coach handle it?
  • will he stay or will it end up being too much?
  • when will i start pissing on myself?
  • when will i have a hard time talking?
  • when, what, when, what?
  • where does one go to find the absolutely COOLEST cane ever?
  • is there enough painted areas on a Rascal for airbrushing?
  • when will i get front row parking? handicap placards?
  • will i get better than i am right now or is this my new normal?

i don’t want to feel sorry for myself. and i don’t want anyone else feeling sorry for me either. it is what it is and i have to continue living my life as my daughter wrote to me this morning…. move forward one shuffle at a time ha! that girl – i love her so much.

the silver lining – i will not die from multiple sclerosis. i will not lose my marbles… my  mind will still be a mess. it won’t change who i am, just how i am. i can deal with that.

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

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