Apr 132011
 

so the other day i was writing aboutfeeling frumpy... remember that? beating myself up, self-criticizing, judging, and just being plain o mean to me…

i woke up this morning and have some time on my hands… i am working the dreaded evening shift…so all morning i’ve been self-motivting.. sort of ha! i showered, did up the hair and decided to go for some make-up even… i haven’t worn make-up in many months…mostly because i’m afraid of stabbing myself in the eye when putting on the mascara… and face paint without mascara is just stupid…

so i slowly and carefully begin applying the false face… all went well… put on my glasses and thought… “self, those eyebrows are awful! you haven’t worked on them in months! gonna have a uni-brow soon…just sayin'”

can’t have the bushy brows! i whipped out my handy-dandy electric eyebrow tool… ok, battery powered… same difference….you see, i hate plucking… hurts like hell, makes me eyes more puffy than they are naturally and that’s not good because they are basically only little slits anyway… back to the eyebrow tool…. i go to work… right brow is going well… great! feeling good…. on to the left brown…

fuckin MS…. twitch! TWITCH! and i couldn’t get the tool out of the way fast enough… so now I’M MISSING 1/2 OF MY LEFT FREAKIN EYEBROW!!!

great….

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

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