Aug 062012
 

#000000;">I sit here at my table with my head in my hands. I don’t know what to do. Literally. I mean, there are many things that need to be done. There are many things I want to do. But I can’t seem to get going. My head is heavy.

#000000;">I don’t feel any better or worse than I have over the past days. So that’s not it. I have great desires to do some things so that’s not it. I have no problem doing what needs to be done. So that’s not it.

#000000;">I don’t know what it is.

#000000;">I just can’t seem to remove my head from my hands & get my ass off this seat, or that seat over there, or the bed in the other room. I’m not depressed. I’m not crying or wishy-washy. I just don’t know what it is.

#000000;">Today is just like every other single day. No new zingers or anything. I’ve read the news. I’ve looked at the weather (and we’ll not get even one drop of rain off that stupid Ernesto storm). I wish I could figure this out. I’m not overly tired. I’m not feeling particularly bad. I know, I’ve said those things already. I’m just going through it all trying to figure out why I cannot seem to get my head out of my hands.

#000000;">I’ve had coffee & a bowl of cereal this morning. I’m coming up on the lunch hour. I should just stop here , get my ass in the shower, & then walk right out the door…. get in the car and go somewhere. Anywhere.

#000000;">I need to go get some of that cool powder that one sprinkles all over to keep the ants & other undesirables away. I need to pick up a new hose and nozzle. I need… hm, that’s it. The rest of the things are wants. (do not go down 10th street! DON’T DO IT! don’t even drive towards that store you’ve been warned off of)

#000000;">On a blog that I love to read, Erin the author #000000;">wrote of red velvet milkshakes. WHAT??!! Okay. So maybe I can go buy myself a slice of red velvet cake & some Blue Bell, #000000;">come back home, plop it all in the blender with a bit o’leche. #000000;">Maybe a red velvet milkshake will get me motivated. Maybe with some red velvet in my belly I will find it easier to pick up a pencil and sketch my mantle. This is on my list of things to do today.

#000000;">Sounds good anyway.

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  3 Responses to “I Don’t Know What It Is”

  1. a red velvet milk shake. stop the presses!
    these type of days bring depression with them and worry. not good days at all.
    btw – all your recent art work is wonderful. i like to look at your lines and how you do them. i try and see if there’s anything i can pick up from you that i struggle with. i have a hard time with perspective. i see you draw point of view pieces quite well. 🙂
    fma

    • doesn’t that milkshake sound fabulous?! i’m going to make myself one someday very soon…
      i hate these types of days… at least they don’t usually last very long.. a few days and then i usually start feeling a bit better
      i have a hard time with perspective as well… i do okay with the straight lines, but the curves not so much… and the opening of a cup or bottle – eh not so good at all haha

  2. I had many days like this when I first quit work. It’s hard to get used to a new routine. There was lots I wanted to do, and lots I had to do, but I wasn’t motivated because ‘Not working” outside the home, and not being amisdst people was so foreign to me. I had to set up a daily routine, get up at the same time every day, eat breakfast, do the dishes…etc. I wrote a schedule for every hour, sometimes for every half hour of the day, and stuck to that schedule. Now, a couple of years later, I am okay with staying at home, I have a routine I can live with (and I don’t have to write it down any more), I have picked up a lot of new hobbies, and I don’t even mind now if I just sit and do nothing for while.

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