Jun 132011
 

There is something I have neglected to share with you all…. not because I didn’t want too but because I forgot! holy hell… and it’s some funny shit too… – now, not so much then….

I mentioned that we went to the SIL’s surprise birthday party…. it was out in the country at a friend of theirs house…. beautiful country out there in Washington County. Anywho, I find it just fine… the directions went something like this”:

From 290 turn on the road where the guy has all the junk cars for sale… go down almost to the end of the road until you see a red gate on your left… go through the gate all the way to the end… you will see a red brick house and a carport… that’s the place.

Found the junk cars for sale (actually, I knew the name of the road since working for 9-1-1 and learning major crossroads) and I turned…went down and down and spotted the red gate…made the turn on the long gravel driveway… as we near the end of the driveway there stands the red brick house and carport…there are other cars parked off the driveway in the grass and the folks are gathered under the carport….

Now remember we are having triple digit heat around here… so as I’m looking for a spot to park, I see the others pulled into the grass up to the fenceline…I notice that there is a spot under a large tree… shade!! Shade is my friend….

I pull the Kia Soul off the gravel driveway headed for the glorious shade….

CRUNCH GRIND SCREECH

 

HOLY SHIT

 

There was a culvert … invisible from the gravel driveway… and I went over it… partially… the driver side front of the car went down into the culvert, causing the ass-end to go up in the air, along with the passenger side…

Coach gets out… I scream… losing his weight in the front seat caused the car to teeter up even higher into the air… I just knew my ass (situated in the driver seat) was going to roll over the culvert… that would NOT have been pretty….

I yell at Coach to get back in! He opens the door and stands on the door frame lowering the passenger side about 2 inches closer to the ground…. the folks from under the carport come running…..

We popped the hatch on the back of the Soul and 3 of them sit there… a few go up to the front and begin to lift the front end…. Coach walks over and just PICKS UP THE FRONT OF THE CAR… this allows the back tires to once again touch the driveway….

Put it in reverse…. and Ta-Da! Rollover averted… I proceeded to park in the full sunshine at the front of the driveway….

Man… I can’t believe I didn’t wet my pants…but I didn’t… they stayed nice and dry…

And now for a few pics at the party…the SIL is the Drew Carey look-a-like… Kiddo is the one that looks like me ha! The grandgirls…well they’re easy to pick out… the rest of the party goers are the cop family… Kiddo and her friend are thinking of starting a home-based business making cupcakes… I can’t recall the business name right now… they made the cupcake island… lemon cupcakes and pina colada cupcakes… I didn’t eat any because the heat made me nauseous… but I heard they were good!

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Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  5 Responses to “grand entrances….”

  1. Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sounds like something I would do!!! That is freaking hilarious!!! Glad you didn’t roll over or trash your ride and glad Coach didn’t blow anything out lifting the car back on it’s tread!!! He’s a handy dude to have around, isn’t he?

    Now I want a lemon cupcake.

    • that he-man pissing stuff comes in quite handy sometimes… glad he has the ego the size of the universe otherwise I might have had to call a wrecker and I just don’t have the money for that!

      when you come visit me I will have kiddo make some lemon cupcakes just for you!!

  2. I am going back and forth – what an entrance – coach lifts front of car – entrance – lift
    umm still a toss up!

  3. Spectacular grand entrance my dear!
    Since changing websites, I can’t get yours to update properly on my blog roll. What am I doing wrong? Email me please, if you know…..tanks

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