>I spent a wonderful day with my family today. It’s good to be around them and spend time with them. It amazes me how our little family has grown. I enjoy sitting and watching everyone…we all have so many similarities, and yet so many differences. We are all unique even as we are related. My only regret is my brother. I hate that we don’t have a relationship. It breaks my heart that he won’t talk to me. This has been such a long, on going thing. I don’t even know what the problem is. We are very different people. I have disappointed him in the past, just as he has disappointed me. That is the nature of relationships. Growing up as kids, we weren’t extraordinarily close, but we were brother & sister. Now we are perfect strangers. I don’t know how to heal this. I have tried and tried over the many years. Several years ago he wrote me a letter saying he wanted to work on things and that he would try. Nothing ever came out of that. Once, I bought his kids presents for Christmas and he called to tell me he didn’t want me to give his kids presents. That hurt. One day our parents will be gone…and we don’t have a big extended family. It’s going to be just me and my brother….he will be my only family left (except for my daughter and grandchildren). But when our parents are gone, what will happen? When all we have will be each other, it will be nothing. And that breaks my heart.
On a brighter note…today was my father’s birthday. We all gathered for a celebration. It was good to see everyone. My daughter and her family were there; my stepmother’s family came. My brother and his family was there. My father is such a wonderful man. He is loving and kind and wise. I love him dearly and am so thankful that he is my dad. I appreciate him more than he knows, and I tell him that. It was a special day for him….he was happy!