It required the prayers and mantras and good vibes of the entire universe…the stroke of God’s hand, the gentle comfort of all the saints & angels – and 28 pills every 24 hours but at least I’m beginning to look more like a human girl instead of a basketball…. and I’m beginning to FEEL more like a human girl instead of a fiery demon possessed by the wrath of hell…. YAY! At this point in the game, that’s really really great news.
The right side of my face has a new layer of fresh skin…smooth as a baby’s butt and whisker free. My lower teeth are once again visible and appear to be unscathed. (I’m still a bit disfigured and hoping my face will return to its previous old lady rubenesque, whiskery self)
And my respect for life is different now.
Pain changes a person
The relief I am feeling is equally as profound as the pain I was in. That is amazing to me. The impact my pain had on me is unspeakable. But more than that is the impact my pain had on others. Those who love me and those who barely know me… acquaintances and friends, family and co-workers, and those who have never met me except through words on the interwebs. I’ve written before about the ripple effect but it still takes me aback when I witness it.
I appreciate the time you all took leaving me comments, thinking of me, praying for me. Every word kept me going through those moments when I just wanted to die. I prayed for death. That’s scary.
Of course now I’m glad that prayer wasn’t answered!
Today is my sweet girl’s birthday. I remember those moments giving birth…the pain, the joy, the fear… she is one of the most right things I’ve done in my life. She is my power, my strength, my motivation. Without knowing it, she made me a better person.
Happy Thursday everyone. It’s a new day with new adventures…. Mine will be small – like returning to work for a ½ day – testing the waters. I pray my body & mind hold up. They will. They will.
I got this.