Aug 212014

It required the prayers and mantras and good vibes of the entire universe…the stroke of God’s hand, the gentle comfort of all the saints & angels – and 28 pills every 24 hours but at least I’m beginning to look more like a human girl instead of a basketball…. and I’m beginning to FEEL more like a human girl instead of a fiery demon possessed by the wrath of hell…. YAY! At this point in the game, that’s really really great news.

The right side of my face has a new layer of fresh skin…smooth as a baby’s butt and whisker free. My lower teeth are once again visible and appear to be unscathed. (I’m still a bit disfigured and hoping my face will return to its previous old lady rubenesque, whiskery self)

And my respect for life is different now.

Pain changes a person

The relief I am feeling is equally as profound as the pain I was in. That is amazing to me. The impact my pain had on me is unspeakable. But more than that is the impact my pain had on others. Those who love me and those who barely know me… acquaintances and friends, family and co-workers, and those who have never met me except through words on the interwebs. I’ve written before about the ripple effect but it still takes me aback when I witness it.

I appreciate the time you all took leaving me comments, thinking of me, praying for me. Every word kept me going through those moments when I just wanted to die. I prayed for death. That’s scary.

Of course now I’m glad that prayer wasn’t answered!

Today is my sweet girl’s birthday. I remember those moments giving birth…the pain, the joy, the fear… she is one of the most right things I’ve done in my life. She is my power, my strength, my motivation. Without knowing it, she made me a better person.

Happy Thursday everyone. It’s a new day with new adventures…. Mine will be small ­– like returning to work for a ½ day – testing the waters. I pray my body & mind hold up. They will. They will.

I got this.

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  8 Responses to “Exorcism of Pain”

  1. Wonderful, wonderful news.
    Now take it easy. Slow and steady. Please.

    • I am keeping a tortoise pace! I did cheat and go to work this afternoon…but only for a 1/2 day. It felt really good to get out of this house. Tomorrow I’ll do another 1/2 day and then the weekend is here. I look forward to getting back in the groove but am going to pay very close attention to my body

  2. Happy Thursday!

    I know when I’ve been in pain for an extended time before, I’ve thought, “Why don’t I appreciate NOT being in pain more? I never think about that…”

    Appreciate it!

    • In the midst of that pain it is so hard to remember what life even is. I am crying today but tears of relief… as I’ve said, the relief is just as profound as the pain is… crazy isn’t it?

      I hope you are well 🙂

  3. Welcome back. 🙂 Please continue to feel better. I said it already, but it bears repeating. The wonderful support of those around you means so much, and I am glad you have it. ((hugs))

    Relief and gratitude ~ this is the best news to grace my heart in a very long time,
    Love you my astral sister ~

    • Oh Paula! I am so glad to hear from you… I saw you left me a comment the other day but couldn’t respond through the delusions I was experiencing.

      It is such a wonderful time today…the experience of some relief and a sense that things might just be okay afterall 🙂

      I hope all is well with you. I have missed you dearly and think of you daily. Love to you my dear friend

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