Jul 172011

coach and i have been spending some time in the ol swimming pool the past week… it’s been so blasted hot that the pool is the only place to find some semblance of relief… although the temperature of the pool water is not much better than a warm shower…. bleh

*stay with me here…. this is gonna get good… i promise

most days when we head over to the pool, we’ve been lucky to be the only ones in the water…. i like it like that… i don’t enjoy being in the pool when there are others around, especially small kids… i’m so unsure of myself that it scares me on some level…. and i like to have the pool to swim around as much as i can… walk in the water, kick my legs, work my arms…. hard to do when others are in there milling around… it’s not a large pool by any means…

so this afternoon as the tin can began warming up we decided to head out to the pool… my daily chunky dunk

upon arrival i notice that there is a grandma and her 2 grandgirls who are probably 4 and 6 years old… but they are pretty calm… playing in the shallow end… coach and i get in the other end and hang out… i was able to hold onto the side and kick my legs a bit… swim back and forth across the width of the pool…. good stuff….

then…. oh my….

a couple joined the pool scene…. and things got interesting… ok not interesting….

they were in their mid to late 50’s i would guess…. she’s wearing a 1950’s style bikini that she should not have been wearing… truly… there are some of us who just SHOULD NOT wear bikini’s…. plain and simple….

1960s bikini

just like this only green

and him… holy hell…. he’s wearing a 1970s style suit… the speedo boxer brief style….

nasty swim shorts

nasty men's swim shorts

so these look alright on a male model …. but on a 60 year old man… not so good…. and with nothing to keep his, um, package in check… not what i wanted to see really… but sometimes things are just so bad that you cannot help but keep looking lol hairy chest, gold chains hanging around the neck… the whole picture here…. man….

so they get a couple of lounge chairs and sun themselves a bit… then he gets up… package hanging… and heads for the water…. he comes about 1/2 way down the pool and crouches near the side… it’s about 4 feet deep …. and he dozes off… starts swaying back and forth… just as he was sinking under the water he startled awake… i think the gentleman with the package was snookered!

i look over to see what his wife was doing…. and you just won’t believe what i saw… really you won’t…. unreal….

she was sitting up… bare-assed… yes…. she had removed her bottoms…. and she was putting on a different suit…. WTF!!!???

so after she manages to cover her self, she gets up to head to the pool… he has gotten out and is now lounging again…. she swims around a bit… i look over at him and he’s got his hands down the front of his freakin suit!!! holding on to that package….

remember, there were small children at the pool with us….

i threw up in my mouth a little…..

and we left…..

*what the hell is WRONG with people?

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  12 Responses to “chunky dunkin’”

  1. I just can’t stop laughing!!! I just don’t understand people.

    • i don’t understand them either… we were so grossed out but couldn’t stop watching… i don’t understand that either ha! we just COULD NOT peel our eyes away from the horrid sites

  2. Euw. Yucko. And sadly not uncommon. I swim to relieve the pain of MS (which mostly it does) and I have seen some truly awful sights in the pool. One of my pet hates though is (generally) teenage boys who come to the pool in the board shorts they have been wearing all week and JUMP RIGHT IN. And the water in their immediate vicinity tastes and smells just awful.

    • you’d think i would be used to this… or at least expect it… i mean, the motto of this fine city is “keep austin weird”… these folks were certainly doing their part!

      i don’t know if the swimming is helping or not with my MS…but it sure does go a long way in cooling me off!

  3. Got a look at the butt crack….
    You just can quit looking.
    My eyes still hurt…..

  4. I’m with Jan. Photos are mandatory in situations like this. Because, obviously, they have no boundaries. And you do need to save the moment for posterity. Next time you go to the pool, take your camera – and keep it in a safe place so nothing happens to it.

  5. I think were were probably drunk…drunks do strange stuff. Sure hope he didn’t pee in the pool when he was crouching…like..ewwwww.

    • OMG! i didn’t think about him maybe peeing!! ewww and he was near one of the jets too… yucko!

      i’m sure they were drunk…they had that pickled look about them

  6. Ok so this is one of those post where I am going are you making the up? For reals? Ok you should have taken a pic cause . …

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