my messy mind

i’m finding more and more people who are deciding against taking DMD’s (disease modifying drugs)… and they are all reporting that they feel BETTER off the meds….and now if only my face would freakin wake up! this is something i’ve contemplated off and on for the past several months… such a tough decision to make… and my decision impacts all of those around me… especially coach… i mean, if i make the wrong decision – either way – he has to deal with it the weight watchers stuff is actually working… imagine that… i’m down a total of 4 pounds

Inhabit Your Body As we inhabit our body with increasing sensitivity, we learn its unspoken language and patterns, which gives us tremendous freedom to make choices. The practice of cutting thoughts and dispersing negative repetitive patterns can be simplified by attending to the patterns in the body first, before they begin to be spun around in the mind. – Jill Satterfield, “Meditation in Motion” 00   

as i sit here this cold arse morning, enjoying the pseudo warmth of the tin can, i realize that life is pretty darn good… it truly is. i’m a lucky girl…. coach went shopping this morning, running a few errands…. and he came home with my valentine’s present…. good thing i gave him shit about the importance of being a husband and giving gifts it paid off nicely…. i was presented with pearls… one of my favorites…. earrings, bracelet and necklace…. good job coach! guess now i have to go buy him something lol there is ice falling from the

i’m full of life today…. and that is taking a front seat to the physical woes of my world… i’m living… i’m breathing… it’s been a morning of epiphanies in a way… funny how it hits me like this from time to time… when i get to feeling bad, as i have for the past year or so, i forget that i’m alive… i’m loved… i’m treasured… that is my new mantra… i am alive isn’t that ultimately what is most important? the rest falls into place rather nicely, with some patience i have a friend that i hope will

just got an email from the neuro’s office…. they are scheduling mri’s…. yuck… thoracic and lumbar i don’t want to do them…… it’s not painful or hard or anything like that… of course, being in that tube isn’t my favorite thing but it’s not the worst of tests i’ve done… there are a few reasons i don’t want to do it…. money… sheesh… i hate dropping $400 for this crap don’t really want to know if there are new lesions – how many, how big etc… you see, so long as i don’t have proof of anything like gaping holes