Apr 262012

last night was a pharmacy night… i mentioned previously about a song i love and happened to hear… no dancing in the pharmacy however…

something else i heard there really sorta tickled me… i’m weird so it might not amuse you in the same way that it did me….but here it goes anyway ha!

as coach and i were standing in line waiting for our turn to pick up meds there came an announcement over the store’s PA system… now mind you, we are in a pharmacy… Walgreens… not a grocery store but a small general store/pharmacy…emphasis on pharmacy.

the announcement we hear is “assistance is needed with the shaved meats… shaved meats”

ok… so um, shaved meats? in a pharmacy? i had all these little weird thoughts (because that’s how my brain works) about shaved meats being used for medication… or maybe a slaughter house behind the double doors that say “authorized personnel only” in which they procure their shaved meats to use for some sort of mojo magic medicinal purpose…

next up was “assistance needed with benadryl…benadryl”… a very specific product was named… now, i didn’t see any customers near the benadryl, which happened to be located on the very isle we were standing in…that’s the line to the pharmacy window….

now…my not so crazy thought was this…. are they using the PA system to advertise items in the store? i mean, like subliminal shopping? the manager and the retail team have their morning power sales group session each morning much like any other retail store i would imagine… and so do they pour over the inventory vs products sold in the past week… then based on that info do they conjure up messages to announce those items they want to sell – would that plant the seeds of shopping ideas into one’s head? “man, we are really getting piled up on adult diapers back there… we need to make our customers believe they need them”

maybe it would remind the shopper of something they need but had forgotten about… “shit, i forgot the lunch meat!”   “aw hell, i think i gave my last benadryl to the kiddo”

i imagine those power sales group sessions much like a mini pep rally – i’ve seen them at Wal Mart… i could never work there because there is NO WAY i would chant and cheer and be all hippy dippy happy to sell at 5AM in the morning…

announcement: “assistance is needed with the depends… depends”

next announcement: “clean up isle 3… isle 3 clean up”

sort of Walgreen’s version of … frakin MS – what’s the word – shit… i can’t remember… but you know… like other stores have all the crap piled up for you to stare at while waiting to check out … and then they only open like 2 check outs forcing everyone to wait in extremely long lines staring at all the crap they don’t need but will invariably buy because they’ve been staring at it for the past 20 minutes while their ice cream melts…. shit….

IMPULSE – ok… wow…

so maybe this is Walgreen’s version of IMPULSE shopping… ( i can’t believe it took about 4 minutes for that word to be found in the mental rolodex…sheesh)

just think of all the funny scenarios these announcements could create…. like one announcement for prune juice followed a few minutes later by an announcement for toilet paper or something….

anyway, i laughed my corrugated ass off when i heard that announcement… instant humor. i think even coach found it semi funny

and the pharmacy clerk told me that they always thought the announcement was “assistance is needed with shaved knees…shaved knees”   – that’s even better!!

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  11 Responses to “assistance needed”

  1. I landed here from a google search. I just returned home from Walgreens, and I heard the same thing, “Shaved Meats, customer assistance at Shaved Meats”. They announced it 5 times. The odd thing was there were only 3 people in the store and we were all on line to check out….. I really wonder if it is code for something.

  2. Ok laughing has stopped but i suspect your miss hearing shaving needs. and sometimes those are codes as they are following a shop lifter and others I have always wondered if some folks really do impulse buy due to the PA system?

  3. You had me chuckling until the end when I giggled at the coach holding back his sense of the funny here and them I LOL’d at your sharing this with the pharmacist who then came back at you with shaved knees.

    Can you imagine him trying to accurately count pills all day while listening to this crap? I hope he doesn’t have to be a part of the pep rally in the A.M.

  4. Every time I’m in our local Kohl’s store I hear the same obviously recorded announcement that additional cashiers are needed at the men’s department checkout. But I’ve noticed that there are never any more cashiers. I’ve often wondered what the point of these announcements might possibly be.

  5. That is hilarious (and brilliant if they are really that sneaky).

  6. Scary, scary, scary. Though at least any shaved meat sold in a pharmacy would be clean. Thanks for this – starting my day with a smile.

  7. You are such a piece of work — I’m laughing so hard about this. And I’m getting a mental image of you cracking up about all the announcements. Good thing I wasn’t there — I’d be laughing so hard I’d be crying! You really do make me laugh! Thanks…

  8. I’m still chuckling about the shaved meat announcement! Fred and I totally would have had fun with that one. You may be on to something,my friend.

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