Aug 282010
 

Dear Parents of Athletes,

Please pay close attention to what I’m going to relay to you.

YOUR CHILD IS NOT THE BEST ATHLETE EVER.

Okay, now that this has been said, let’s move on.

When you are out in public, it is not acceptable to bash the coaches at your child’s school. Where is the team spirit here? An even worse place to openly bash the coaches is at a game. Come on. Really? Are the coaches out there playing the game? Or is it your child WHO IS NOT THE BEST ATHLETE EVER?

It is very important that you all remember that the coaches can only work with what they are given. They do not make a sports drink that when ingested, magically instills world-class athletic ability.

As a parent of an athlete, it is your job to ensure your child’s participation. Teach them the importance of commitment, and what said commitment might mean. The team counts on each and every player to show up for practice, give at least #990000;">100% to increase their abilities, and to respect the other players of the team – not to mention the coaches. This includes the quarterback, team captains, and the almighty seniors who think they don’t need to practice. The coaches are giving 100% of themselves to your child’s future and betterment.

I think that many of you may not know what a coach invests in his/her team. They work from 7 AM until 9 PM most days, and on game nights it can be until 2 AM. Then while you and your star child athlete are out enjoying the weekend, do you know what the coaches are doing? I didn’t think so….

Saturday morning at 8 AM (following a Friday night game, getting home well after midnight), the coaches get up and drag themselves to the school. They spend anywhere from 6 to 14 hours (yes 14!) watching film. They are figuring out what needs to be done differently… what worked, what didn’t. And they are planning for the next game. Oh and let’s not forget the laundry – the coaches are washing YOUR CHILD’S SWEATY JOCKSTRAP!

And Sundays? Yes sometimes they work on Sundays too (up to 7 days a week now). Sundays they finish up what they couldn’t get done in the long day they had Saturday.

You see, the coaches are trying to be better coaches- while your kid skips practice or acts like an idiot and learns nothing. The coaches feel it is their fault much of the time when there is a loss. And I am here to remind you all that this is not correct. Remember who is playing the game? YOUR CHILD WHO IS NOT A STAR ATHLETE of course. #990000;">The coaches are not on the field playing the game.

I don’t mean to be rude or harsh here. But I am sick and tired of hearing you all bitch, complain, piss, and moan about the coaches. Following is a list of suggestions for the parents of athletes (and other fans that like to yell at the coaching staff):

  • Teach your child that the#990000;"> “n” word, the #990000;">“mf” word, and many others #990000;">are NOT appropriate
  • Ensure that your child shows up to practice… even if they are the best athlete ever they still need to attend practice
  • Discipline your child  and be an example to them. They are going to end up acting as foolishly as you are if you don’t cut it out NOW.
  • Do not yell at the coaches and call them names from the stands – this makes you look like an idiot and does nothing to hurt the coaches. Oh, and it likely embarrasses your child.
  • Do not tell your kid to do something differently than the coaches -this will likely cause injury, sometimes serious injury.
  • Not all children will make it to the NFL, or even to college football. Deal with it. Your kid may not be your meal ticket.
  • If you think you can do it better, go to school, get a degree and apply for the job.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your attention. Any future cooperation on your part will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

P.S. The next time you feel the urge to make obnoxious slanderous remarks about a coach, remember that his wife, parents, or children may be sitting right in front of you. Asshat

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

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