May 232013

I fell asleep in the MRI machine yesterday. Woke myself up with the most unladylike sounds being emitted from my throat. Of course, I startled myself awake with the noise echoing inside the MRI chamber. I can’t believe I actually heard it…what with all the dang baning and humming of the machine.

If you’ve never had an MRI of your brain let me offer a bit o’ description. I was laying flat on my back with a pillow thing under my knees for a bit of comfort in a less than comfortable environment (how kind of them)… my head is on a wedgie thing so that my spine is straight. Some headphones were placed on my head… they serve 2 purposes – first is noise reduction. I cannot begin to imagine how loud the banging would be without the ear protection because it is quite loud even with the headphones… second purpose – the omnipotent voice of the MRI God’s…. yelling at me for snoring and moving LOL I messed up two sections of the test. Pft, such is life. What do they expect when they lay a rubenesque woman, who happens to have issues swallowing, flat on her back for more than an hour?

Another thing… when they do these tests on me, it’s a 2-stage process… a full series without methyl ethyl badstuff (MEBS), a.k.a. contrast, and a second series after injecting the MEBS. Each series takes approximately 40 minutes. So… 40 minutes goes by and those of us with MS understand how the B&B stuff works… it works often but not effieciently. In other words, I have to pee all the flippin time!

Back to the test… so the first series sans MEBS gets done and they slide you out of the great tube… “don’t move!” shit. I gotta pee is usually what I’m saying at this point, as they are so kindly injecting the MEBS glow-in-the-dark radiate the hell out of my brain stuff. But NO! Potty breaks are out of the question. It seems that the head position & alignment must remain EXACTLY the same for the first & second series. Horse hockey. With the marvels of modern technology, one would think they could cut, paste, crop, and otherwise edit each series to make them match up… pft again.

So needless to say, prior to yesterdays adventure, I skipped coffee, breakfast, water… which means I also skipped morning meds… to include that fabulous little pill that helps me stay awake and functioning. And I fell asleep… snored, chortled and may or may not have emitted a bit of odiferous gas from the bottom parts. That’s what they get. Go on buddy… slide me outta the tube… that wonderful essence that is me will come wafting out as well… doh!

The not drinking thing… I pay for that in other ways… I have shitty veins. Always have… they are small. They are thin. They have a mind of their own. They do not like to be violated under any circumstances. So they hide out. When there’s no hydration, it’s much worse which makes it near impossible to have the MEBS injected…. the process generally requires a minimum of 3 butterfly kits, 2-3 nurses, a phlebotomist, and the sacrifice of both my hands. In the end, it becomes a challenge with a grand prize for the winner. As for me? I walk away looking like my hands have been battered by a baseball bat or something.

I should have my results today or tomorrow. Ah the advantages of working in the hospital. As much as I abhor the process of testing, I must admit… I’m a bit curious to see how many new spots are on my thinking cap. It’s been about 18 months since my last ride in the MRI machine.

Now this morning I am headed over to the lab so they can extract many tubes of blood. There are so many tests ordered that it took up two prescriptions to get it all written down.

I was contacted by the specialty pharmacy yesterday.. that was fast! They are working with my insurance… really cool bit o’news… if the drug is listed with my specialty pharmacy, my copay is $0.00… oh how nice that would be! My insurance, it seems, covers 100% of the cost for specialty drugs used to treat  chronic illness so long as it’s on the formulary list. I checked the formulary list but Tecfidera was not on it. That makes sense though… the drug was just approved for prescribing and the forumulary list was printed up in January. I’m just praying that as new drugs are released, the insurance adds them in the system.

This morning on the news there was a story about a police chase. The news anchors went on and on about this chase and how the bad guy was running from the cops. They spoke of how dangerous police chases are and how stupid it is to run…. The kicker to the story, which didn’t get mentioned until the end of the story? The suspect was running from the cops… evading the police… a felony offense… ON A BACKHOE. Ok… so… who how is this a chase? I would think a cop could get out of his car and sorta trot on up to the backhoe as they are “running from the cops”, climb on board and affect the arrest… don’t ya’ think? That procedure would certainly decrease the risk to other citizens in this very dangerous situation.

And last but not least, because it’s my job… it’s what I do… and because I share that junk with anyone reading this crap… here ya’ go:

And one last thing… I just love Jack Handy… and here is one of my favorites:

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months warm, happy, and floating…you finish off as an orgasm.

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  6 Responses to “An MRI Tale”

  1. Had a follow-up MRI on Thursday and also fell asleep and let out some sort of moan sound that woke me up. It was right before they were supposed to inject the contrast. I hear the MRI god yell from the other room, “She has to go back in, she moved.” I broke down and wore an adult prtotective undergarment (diaper) and a poise pad because I knew other wise there would be a puddle on the table. MS really sucks!!!

  2. You fell asleep in an MRI????! I hate them with a passion. I am a touch claustrophobic and cannot cope with the noise. Only the thought that if I scream my lungs out we will have to start all over again keeps me still.
    I like your reverse life plan – except I wouldn’t want to be a teenager again for anyone. No way, no how. Can I just get to my late twenties, early thirties and stop?
    I hope the MRI brings no bad news. Brilliant post. Thanks

  3. Good post, Sherri. We are alike with the baby veins, call in the specialists. It really does help to be hydrated.

    Well, at least you didn’t lose control, and I hope that they don’t find anything unusual in your MRI. I’m thinking about switching from Copaxone, no needles would be nice, but I’m askeered to upset the apple cart.

  4. I nearly fell asleep during the last MRI I had, but then I had taken Ativan to be able to get into the ‘hugging tunnel’ as the tech called it.
    Mork from Ork once said something similar about the life cycle when explaining why one of the ‘elders’ from his planet looked to be about seven or eight years old.
    I would personally like to have remained about 35 years old for most of my life.

  5. I woke myself up snoring the last time I had an MRI. And then I sneezed, painful when clamped into the headgear!
    Hope there are no surprises in your results.!

  6. OK Dorian Gray, love your upended life cycle! MRIs are sooo noisy — I can’t believe you actually fell asleep!

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