Mar 072012
 

i have a kick-ass neuro… i truly do…

and his nurses, office staff, and well pretty much everyone i’ve dealt with this past 18 months over there has been absolutely fantastic to me….

i love that i go to his office and hear that i have a low-burden of disease (although i hate to find out what a medium-burden of disease is gonna be like)… he always has a way of making me feel much better about the condition of the condition i’m dealing with 🙂

he talks to me… not at me… and we don’t just talk about me… we talk about him too… now i fancy myself a pretty smart girl – with a dash of cognitive mishaps thrown in – and i would have to suspect that much of our conversation is him assessing my mental abilities… he’s listening to my speech patters patterns, word choices, stops/starts, connection of thoughts…. i’m guessing here but i would think that conversation about whatever topic comes up would be a great indicator about the health of my ol thinking cap….

so today’s visit…. went well considering i was sitting in a neurologist’s office with pictures of my brain, neck and back projected up on the big screens…. sorry Dr. Cain, but i would rather not have had to know you or come to see you…. but i’m so glad that i have you in my corner 🙂

yes there is new activity… no it’s not as bad as many others… yes it’s kicking my ass right now… but i continue to trudge on through… i most always refuse the cane…. don’t frown at me… i don’t want to give in too early… i’m afraid if i give in too early that i will just go on giving in and head down that spiral to the fetal position in blackened rooms… i’m not wanting to go there

i will continue on with the current treatment choices… Copaxone injection each and every friggin day… blasted shit… i will continue using Adderall to give me the energy to make it through the day (mostly), i will continue on the mega doses of vitamin D, the b-complex, and a bit o verapimil in the winter months to help with the Raynaud’s….

more mri’s? nah… not right now… it’s so cool that doc lets me decide if i want to do the mri or not… he agrees with me that it’s money out of pocket for something that we already pretty much know… and the biggie is that it’s not going to change anything… i have ms, i will get worse, i will keep taking meds (for now)…. all this doesn’t mean that when the big one comes i will refuse mri’s and such… i will certainly go through with the testing for the biggies….

this relapse is here… it’s affecting me certainly… but i’m managing… i’m living… i’m working… and overall, i’m doing alright… just a few new sensations to deal with and a bit o pain that hopefully will subside over the next few months…

the only new thing we’re doing… something i haven’t done before…. IV solu-medrol for a few days… look out world – sherri’s fixin to be all hopped up and energized…. not so much looking forward to it though ha! hopefully i won’t gain 158.9 pounds in the process….

no hospital either… my infusions will be done in my home… now how cool is that? won’t interfere with work, soccer, football, or anything else… so they say….

so that’s about it… i am here waiting to hear from the infusion center to get the details worked out… oh, and i have ms… yeah…..

p.s. it’s sorta nice having a day off in the middle of the week, even if it wasn’t planned and it’s costing me

p.s.s doc mentioned a new drug coming around the bend that he is hopeful about…. Dimethyl Fumarate or BG-12 as it’s called…. gonna go do some reading

 

 

Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

  16 Responses to “forgot to add the title before hitting publish… such a whack job”

  1. Well, as  several have already said in different ways, using a cane is NOT giving in, or giving up, or anything like that.
    IT IS JUST USING A FUCKING CANE.
    The same goes with all the other aids available to us.
    Would you rather have to crawl, or be stuck in a bed, than use a wheelchair?
    YOU HAD BETTER SAY NO TO THAT ONE, GIRL! 
    BTW, a cane is a cheap way to maintain an even gait.
    You can also use it (in a variety of ways) to keep people and/or pets from tripping your ass.
    Oh, and it lets people know to stay out of your way, or if it doesn’t, you can use it on them, too! Oops, I guess that’s the same thing. Sorry for the brain fart.

    That’s just my opinion on aids.

    • i completely agree with everything you said… i know it’s not a bad thing and that in many many ways i can use it my, um, advantage 🙂 it stays with me all the time…. it goes everywhere i go…. i just am horrible about pulling it out of the car and actually using it….

      now i am very good at using it when i’m going to be in a place that requires a lot of walking, or a wide open space with nothing to hold on to…. or in places where the crowd is thick….

      i haven’t figured out yet why i feel like i’m giving in when i rely on the cane… and i don’t want end up in bed, crawling or stuck in bed… no way!

      i am very grateful that aids are there, inexpensive for the most part, and easy to use….

      i LOVE brain farts!! i have them often 🙂

      •  Okay then, sorry for the rant – though I did notice it got one like! It’s good to know that your cane is well-travelled, and that it even gets used sometimes. Yay. Baby steps.

        Sorry, no brain farts for you tonight. I’ve heard they can go to your head.

        •  always fun to get the “likes” ha! and you can rant on whenever you want… please do! i love passion…. love it! there is not near enough of it anymore

          i wonder what happens if we hold brain farts in as opposed to letting the blow?

  2. Black humour rocks and without it I would have drowned in MS crap long ago.  Almost twenty years on I don’t (often) use a cane.  And I know where you are coming from in saying that to do so would be an admission of giving up.  It isn’t, but it feels like it.
    I hope that all your bothersome symptoms piss off.  Sending hugs.

    •  i’m hoping they all piss off too… very soon! i am sick of feeling like garbage… bleh….

      black humor… i have survived on it for years and years haha i think that’s one reason i have some of the friends i have… they enjoy my off center way of thinking…. haha

  3. You are really blessed to have the dr. that you do.  So much of living with any disease is the trusting relationship you have with your dr. and just the kinda guy he is.  I’m not sure why using the cane is giving up, giving in. I use my cane when ever and where ever – when I can’t walk without the support it gives me, I walk with it. A shopping cart is good too, but you can’t take it out of Target and it won’t fit in the car or our apartment.  It’s also good for pressing elevator buttons without touching someone else’s kooties.  Sherri, I do love you and when the demon depression ties me to the bed and tapes my mouth shut, or my legs collapse under me I picture your spiky hair, cool glasses, warm and loving face and imagine your voice and get my ass out of bed, grab one of my very coool canes and hobble over to the kitchen – maybe 8 feet from our bedroom – make some tea – and remember that laughter from even the darkest humor is a good thing.  You are always in my prayers.  

    Last week I started reading Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles.  Never read them before because I was scared shitless
    about what I would find on the pages.  I’m into the third book, can’t put it down – The Queen of the Damned – the title so speaks to me (haha), it would be a good title for my autobiography.  A little dark humor there.  Ya know, there is nothing that can happen to me personally that scares me today.  

    Speaking about karma and all that, I once said to a friend who is also a Reiki master that I must have been Atilla the Hun in a past life to have the life I have now.  She said something interesting.  She said maybe you weren’t Atilla the Hun.  Maybe you just made a commitment before you were born into this life to have the courage to burn through all the negative karma you’ve accumulated and have it done with in this lifetime.  Pause to think.  Yeah. That’s a nice view, but having no enlightenment, it’s just a nice thought.  It is what it is and here’s a big bad fart in it’s honor.  I am practicing laughing at the insanity of life but never forgetting how much grace there is around me and I have annointed you Sherri Grace Abendroth.

    •  i’m so sorry that you are in a dark place paula… but i know that you will come out of this… i know that you will… and i’m glad that in some way i help to get you up and moving! that is very humbling for me 🙂
      attilla the hun…. haha

      somehow i don’t picture you as attilla…. but i see your friends point… but man, can you imagine having to burn through all the negative karma in one lifetime? that would certainly wear a soul down… wow….

      i loved reading the vampire chronicles! it was a a few years ago and i’ve picked them up a few times since then… they are such great stories and are beautifully written…. i remember a friend of mine telling me she was afraid to read them thinking they would be scarry…. and i remember how amazed she was to find out they weren’t…. just really GOOD stories….

      xoxo take care of you paula!! and thank you so much for your encouragement

  4. Glad you like your neuro, and that  things aren’t too bad! I understand about the cane — I was the same until I realized it actually helped me. Duh… But then I did the same with my walker. As long as you’re doing ok without it, keep it in the closet!
    Peace,Muff

    •  i am guessing it would most likely help me…. at least in keeping a more steady gait… i keep it with me, in my car 🙂 it sits very nicely along side me seat

  5. having a “kick ass neuro” can only help the situation eh?  i wouldn’t say that mine is “kick ass” but i like him nonetheless 🙂
    gosh, i sooooo don’t miss my Copaxone days!
    i felt that way about using the cane too…i understand exactly  how you feel!

    I’m rambling, but hey!  i figured you won’t mind 🙂

    •  i don’t mind rambling one little bit! i seem to do it quite often ha!

      on the one hand i was sure hoping he’d take me off the Copaxone… on the other, i don’t really feel comfortable with the other CRABs out there right now…. bleh

      hope you are feeling well!

  6. Dammit all!!!!  I wish fucking MS was a slut that I could kick some ass on to make it leave you alone, sister.  If it was, I would, and I’d never stop.

    Loving you friend.

    Chin up.  You are such an incredible woman.

    •  there’s something about sluts and kicking ass that just keeps coming back to us eh? haha
      honestly, i wouldn’t wish this on anyone at all ever….

      love you too! and thank you so much for all your support… you are fabulous!

  7. I hope all of that means something good. 
    You’re prayed for often. 🙂

    •  i hope it does too lol
      i figure anything new is a chance for getting better…. can’t get well but getting better would be nice 🙂

      thank you for your continued prayers!

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